Third Letter To Isla
Dear Isla:
In this, my third letter to you on ethics, we come to that most troublesome of all human attributes: emotions. What are they and how do we best handle them? I am afraid getting at the answer to these two questions is a bit involved, but if you will follow me through my reasoning, I think you will find the answers themselves quit simple.
To start, understanding human emotions begins by understanding that aspect of modern philosophy known as Cartesian Dualism. In the 17th Century, René Descartes, a French mathematician and philosopher, laid the cornerstone for our modern view of the nature of things by logically demonstrating that each human exists simultaneously in two separate and distinct worlds. That is, each individual human exists in an external physical world of matter that is common to all humans and includes the individual's body. At the same time, each human individual exists in a private and unique, non-physical, intellectual world internal to the mind of the individual and includes the individual's memories, perceptions, feelings, thoughts, and a sense of self (what an individual means by the personal pronoun "I"). (Descartes’ actual words are: "I think therefore I am.")
We humans are provided with two related connections between these separate worlds: emotion and communication. Emotions are our perceptions of and our feelings about the meaning of occurrences in the external physical world to our internal intellectual world. Communication is our transmittal of our reaction to these perceptions to other humans. The two are very closely related.
For example, whenever I first see you, the emotion I experience is one of love. My reaction to this emotion is to want to put my arms around you and hug you to me because hugging is one means for communicating my feelings of deep affection for you. In the same way, the emotions of fear will cause physical changes in the body through the outpouring of adrenalin as our muscles prepare to flee or fight. Feelings of extreme fear are often accompanied by a shout or a scream in an unconscious attempt to sound a warning and call for help. Similarly, we tend to react to emotions of extreme anger or frustration by striking out at someone verbally or even physically in attempt to communicate our feelings of rage.
The point is that human emotions are both physical and intellectual in nature and create an almost overwhelming desire for instant communication of our feelings. Thus, experiencing and communicating emotions is merely being human.
From this, several ethical questions arise: are there good emotions and bad emotions; should one permit oneself to feel all emotions or should some be suppressed; should one show one's feelings and, if so, to what extent and to whom; if, in a social situation, one does not show one's true emotions, is one guilty of deceit?
As I have said, it seems to me that nature intends us to feel emotions deeply and to show our feelings freely. Thus, the suppression of emotions is unnatural and, I hold, unhealthy. In fact, I believe the more deeply one feels and shows emotion, the more human one becomes. It is a question of appreciation through contraries. Just as a warm and colorful spring is particularly appreciated for having first experienced a cold and bleak winter, so, having once experienced sadness and despair, one can truly appreciate feelings of happiness and joy. Each emotion seems to be coupled with a contrary - to have one is to have the other. Thus, the result of going through life avoiding or suppressing feelings of sadness, despair, hate, or anger is to fail to find happiness, joy, love, or tranquility. Which is why I believe one should accept and show fully whatever feelings arise from the immediate situations in which one finds oneself.
We can now see the answers to the ethical questions. Firstly, emotions are neither good nor bad; they just are. Further, like thoughts, emotions are private, and our feelings may be whatever they may be. As we shall see, proper behavior concerns only our outward reaction to our emotions. Secondly, emotions should never be suppressed. You are always perfectly free to feel fully whatever emotions you happen to feel at the time. More importantly, in social situations, you should always feel free to communicate your feelings to others. For one reason or another, you may choose not to show your feelings, but you should know that you are always free to express your true feelings whenever you desire. I urge you to become a person who is open emotionally to others. The type of person of whom others say: "What you see is what you get."
Which brings us to the question that most people have the most difficulty answering: When must one show one's true emotions to avoid being guilty of deceit? The answer is simple, but most difficult to live by. One must communicate one's true emotions in any situation where, by remaining silent, one appears to support or permits to be perpetuated an injustice or wrong against an individual, against a group, or against society as a whole.
It is vital that each thinking person's private feelings against social, environmental, and economic injustices and wrongs be communicated to those in a position to stop the wrongdoing. Situations requiring you to communicate your emotions can arise in both professional and social settings. In either case, you may fear that expressing your true feelings may jeopardize some position you have or are hoping to establish within the group present. However, if you feel an injustice or wrong is perpetuated by the group, you must disassociate yourself from the wrongdoing by at least some statement such as: "I do not agree with anything being said here and will not participate further in this discussion." If no one will listen to your reasons for making such a statement, you must leave.
For example, if a group you are part of makes untrue and insulting remarks about an absent friend of yours, you cannot remain silent without being deceitful. You must speak up in defense of your friend whatever the social cost to you. Better to have a very few friends who know they can truly depend upon you and you upon them, than to have a world full of mere acquaintances. Besides, if you are known as a person who will defend her friends, then people will seek you out to become your friend. "It is no small thing," as Matthew Arnold said, "... to have advanced true friends, and beat down baffling foes." If you are willing to do this at any cost, you will never in your entire life lack for firm and close friends.
Your Loving Godfather,
In this, my third letter to you on ethics, we come to that most troublesome of all human attributes: emotions. What are they and how do we best handle them? I am afraid getting at the answer to these two questions is a bit involved, but if you will follow me through my reasoning, I think you will find the answers themselves quit simple.
To start, understanding human emotions begins by understanding that aspect of modern philosophy known as Cartesian Dualism. In the 17th Century, René Descartes, a French mathematician and philosopher, laid the cornerstone for our modern view of the nature of things by logically demonstrating that each human exists simultaneously in two separate and distinct worlds. That is, each individual human exists in an external physical world of matter that is common to all humans and includes the individual's body. At the same time, each human individual exists in a private and unique, non-physical, intellectual world internal to the mind of the individual and includes the individual's memories, perceptions, feelings, thoughts, and a sense of self (what an individual means by the personal pronoun "I"). (Descartes’ actual words are: "I think therefore I am.")
We humans are provided with two related connections between these separate worlds: emotion and communication. Emotions are our perceptions of and our feelings about the meaning of occurrences in the external physical world to our internal intellectual world. Communication is our transmittal of our reaction to these perceptions to other humans. The two are very closely related.
For example, whenever I first see you, the emotion I experience is one of love. My reaction to this emotion is to want to put my arms around you and hug you to me because hugging is one means for communicating my feelings of deep affection for you. In the same way, the emotions of fear will cause physical changes in the body through the outpouring of adrenalin as our muscles prepare to flee or fight. Feelings of extreme fear are often accompanied by a shout or a scream in an unconscious attempt to sound a warning and call for help. Similarly, we tend to react to emotions of extreme anger or frustration by striking out at someone verbally or even physically in attempt to communicate our feelings of rage.
The point is that human emotions are both physical and intellectual in nature and create an almost overwhelming desire for instant communication of our feelings. Thus, experiencing and communicating emotions is merely being human.
From this, several ethical questions arise: are there good emotions and bad emotions; should one permit oneself to feel all emotions or should some be suppressed; should one show one's feelings and, if so, to what extent and to whom; if, in a social situation, one does not show one's true emotions, is one guilty of deceit?
As I have said, it seems to me that nature intends us to feel emotions deeply and to show our feelings freely. Thus, the suppression of emotions is unnatural and, I hold, unhealthy. In fact, I believe the more deeply one feels and shows emotion, the more human one becomes. It is a question of appreciation through contraries. Just as a warm and colorful spring is particularly appreciated for having first experienced a cold and bleak winter, so, having once experienced sadness and despair, one can truly appreciate feelings of happiness and joy. Each emotion seems to be coupled with a contrary - to have one is to have the other. Thus, the result of going through life avoiding or suppressing feelings of sadness, despair, hate, or anger is to fail to find happiness, joy, love, or tranquility. Which is why I believe one should accept and show fully whatever feelings arise from the immediate situations in which one finds oneself.
We can now see the answers to the ethical questions. Firstly, emotions are neither good nor bad; they just are. Further, like thoughts, emotions are private, and our feelings may be whatever they may be. As we shall see, proper behavior concerns only our outward reaction to our emotions. Secondly, emotions should never be suppressed. You are always perfectly free to feel fully whatever emotions you happen to feel at the time. More importantly, in social situations, you should always feel free to communicate your feelings to others. For one reason or another, you may choose not to show your feelings, but you should know that you are always free to express your true feelings whenever you desire. I urge you to become a person who is open emotionally to others. The type of person of whom others say: "What you see is what you get."
Which brings us to the question that most people have the most difficulty answering: When must one show one's true emotions to avoid being guilty of deceit? The answer is simple, but most difficult to live by. One must communicate one's true emotions in any situation where, by remaining silent, one appears to support or permits to be perpetuated an injustice or wrong against an individual, against a group, or against society as a whole.
It is vital that each thinking person's private feelings against social, environmental, and economic injustices and wrongs be communicated to those in a position to stop the wrongdoing. Situations requiring you to communicate your emotions can arise in both professional and social settings. In either case, you may fear that expressing your true feelings may jeopardize some position you have or are hoping to establish within the group present. However, if you feel an injustice or wrong is perpetuated by the group, you must disassociate yourself from the wrongdoing by at least some statement such as: "I do not agree with anything being said here and will not participate further in this discussion." If no one will listen to your reasons for making such a statement, you must leave.
For example, if a group you are part of makes untrue and insulting remarks about an absent friend of yours, you cannot remain silent without being deceitful. You must speak up in defense of your friend whatever the social cost to you. Better to have a very few friends who know they can truly depend upon you and you upon them, than to have a world full of mere acquaintances. Besides, if you are known as a person who will defend her friends, then people will seek you out to become your friend. "It is no small thing," as Matthew Arnold said, "... to have advanced true friends, and beat down baffling foes." If you are willing to do this at any cost, you will never in your entire life lack for firm and close friends.
Your Loving Godfather,
posted by Bob Baker at 3:40 AM
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